Jeff Shreve

New Song - "So Ubiquitous"

Just wrote another song for fun at Once Upon a Week. Actually, strike that. It's a totally serious, hard look at that Verizon commercial where the Verizon guy simulates being a pregnant woman in order to make sure the Verizon network is up to the challenge. Lyrics and link below.

"So Ubiquitous" - Link to song

Got some help stepping down the stairs, we take 'em
One at a time,
Two arms linked in mine.

Look down the street at the passing cars, we hail a
Cab as the plan unfurls,
The driver's curls bouncing up and down.

And now he says that I'm doing great, we're late,
"Take the tunnel," says the other, that's a mandate,
You can totally tell that it's a mandate.

And then we nod in the darkness closing,
We know where this is unfortunately going,
Time for the ubiquitous tagline.

(So ubiquitous, so ubiquitous, so ubiquitous...)

CHORUS:
Can you hear me now? Good.
Can you hear me now? Good.
Can you hear me now? That's good. Let's just try it one more time now.
Can you hear me now? That's really good. We're just getting right to the center of the tunnel now, this would be a good time to test.
Can you hear me now?...Wow! That's, that's really good. Let's just do it one more time, since we're here.
Can y--wha, what? What's...what? We're--we're done? We're done. Oh, OK. No no, no, that's cool. That's fine, that's fine...I mean, it would have been nice to know, you know, like, ahead of time. But uh, that's, that's cool, whatever.

An Incredibly Brief Political Observation...

Normally, I hate discussing politics. Every politician is always hiding something, or attempting to massage voters with vague notions designed to offend no one while usually inspiring no one as well (Obama's had some shining moments, but he's regressed to the mean at times as well).

But then I saw this clip over at Gothamist. And my brain suddenly processed the fact that, if McCain is elected, Sarah Palin would be the second-most powerful person in the U.S. And then I realized that I hadn't really heard her say anything with real content. And then I realized that that was because the GOP won't let her speak.

And then I got a little scared.

So please: if you're considering voting for McCain, take a second to pretend that you're instead voting for Sarah Palin for president. And if you're cool with that idea, then go right ahead.

In Honor of Hamlet II, a Writing Mishap...

I've just begun writing again at Once Upon a Week with my fellow Week-lings (hmmm, that doesn't sound quite right), and wanted to post what I did for this past week here, mainly for The Anglophile's sake.

And no, I'm not even going to address the past few months of no-blogging; I'm just going to start up again and pretend like nothing ever happened.

So, this week I decided to make fun of the stylish abbreviations that litter our language nowadays (like "fro-yo," "ab-fab," "IMHO," "LOL." etc.). I did this by updating the famous Hamlet "To be, or not to be" soliloquy in this new fashion. Here's a link to the original, for comparison. Enjoy.

2 B, or not 2 B: that’s the Q:
Wheth 'tis nobler in the mind 2 suff
The slarrows of ‘rageous 4tune,
Or 2 take armz ‘gainst a C of troubs,
And byposing end ‘em? 2 die: 2 sleep;
No more; and by a sleep 2 say we end
The h-ache and the thousand natshocks
That flesh is heir 2, 'tis a consmation
‘voutly 2 be wish'd. 2 die, 2 sleep;
2 sleep: perch 2 dream: ay, there's th'rub;
4 in that sleepdeath what dreamz may come
When we’ve shuft off this m-coil,
Must give us P: there's the respect
That makes cal-M-T of so liiiiiife;
4 who would bear the scorps of time,
The opp-sor's wrong, the proman's C-tumely,
The pangs of D-spis'd luv, the law's D-lay,
The slence of office and the spurnz
That patmerit of the unworthy takes,
When hehim might his Q-tus make
With a baredkin? who would fardelz bear,
2 grusweat under a wearlife,
Buthat the dread of some-T after death,
The undisc'd country from whose bourn
No travler returns, puzzes the will
And makes us rath bear th’illz we have
Than fly 2 others that we known’t of?
Thus contch does make cowds of ‘sall;
And thus the nate hue of rezloosh
Is sicklied o'er wi’the palcast of thought,
And entprises of great pitchoment
Wi’this regard their curntz turn awry,
And lose th’name of action.-- Soft U now!
Da fair Ophie! Nimf, in thy orisons
B’all my sinz rember'd.

Take a Second to Appreciate Humankind's Unexpected Capacity for Profound Kindness

The simple ideas are the ones that always work. I want to have a beer with the WORLD right now.

I am Copy-Editor, Hear Me Bore...

I'd like to take a break from our regularly scheduled programming (actually, I've already been taking a substantial break from programming, haven't I?) to put something out there into the ether.

I recently completed a copy-editing course at the New School as part of my attempt to switch careers. I currently work as a booking manager at a New York concert hall, but I've wanted to start working in editing for some time. I couldn't really reveal this on this site for obvious reasons, but I am finally able to break radio silence. My last days as a booking manager will be toward the end of August or beginning of September, and I have begun the awkward, humbling, and sometimes depressing experience of "Looking for a Job." If any of you kind souls out there know of anyone in editing or copy-editing, or have anything that needs to be copy-edited, or just want to give me the ol' fist pound in congratulations, let me know! I will totally repay you in dedicatory blog posts, bowling strikes, or pitchers of beer, as those seem to be my currency of choice.

And just to clarify that last sentence, yes, I did intend for the adjective "dedicatory" to apply to the entire list, including "pitchers of beer." It will be awesome.

Bowling for Charity: A Recap

On June 2, 2008, I met with my charity bowling team at Bowlmor Lanes for two reasons: first, to celebrate our team's final fundraising total of $2,080.01; second, to defeat Darrel, my ex-coworker and (for entertainment purposes only) my appointed nemesis.

I promised photos of my endeavor to those who donated money toward the cause (proceeds went to Classical Action: Performing Arts Against Aids). I brought my camera for just this purpose, and began by taking a test photo of the electronic scoreboard to see if it would be visible with flash.

 

Not bad (you can make out the team signs in the full image--click on the above thumbnail--and see that Darrel's nefarious Nightingale-Bamford crew was indeed right next to us). I took a picture of the infamous Darrel as well.

 

C'mon, doesn't he just look exactly like the bad guy? Anyway, I took these two photos, and I attempted to review them both.

And my camera went dead.

But never fear, friends! I was ready; I was prepared. I took out my two back-up batteries, switched them out, turned on the camera again, and looked at the photos I had taken.

And then, right at that f*cking moment, my camera went dead again...and then my turn came up.

Needless to say, my feathers were immediately and severely ruffled. Luckily, they were serving beer in pitchers, and vodka (basically straight vodka) in plastic cups. For free. I did what any enterprising MacGyver devotee would do.

Well, not quite. I suppose MacGyver would've made a pinhole camera out of a hollowed-out bowling ball and a toilet paper roll or something. Instead, I generously imbibed the plentiful supply of alcohol sitting nearby until I was drunk enough to demand that other people take pictures of me.

And, as you can see, it worked like a charm! The following photos are supplied by Emily, one of my teammates, and--believe it or not--Darrel himself.

 

Our splendid team: Emily, Jake, me, Laurel, and Megan (not pictured: honorary members Martin and Emilee).

Now, as you may or may not know, I had promised to perform certain exploits if donations of a certain amount were made. I am a man of my word, and I will now prove it to you. Up first: the granny frame.

 

I actually picked up a spare on my granny frame! So thank you to Jack, Maria, Brian, and Eytan for making me do that! The next level was the two frames of backward granny.

 

 

 

Yikes. As expected, these frames were less successful, and much more humiliating. Thank you so much, other Jeff, Kathy, and Sara. Now, we get to the dedicated strikes. Up first, Leslie.

 

I started warming up after this first one. Next up was Sean.

 

Strike number three (all in the first 6 frames of my second game!) went to my old chum, Tony.

At this point, I was sizzling hot (for me), sitting on 107 and a spare in the eighth frame. I had one more strike to pick up in three frames. While I was waiting for my turn, the organizers announced the party was moving upstairs onto the rooftop club, and requested that everyone finish their games. We obviously kept bowling, trying in vain to finish our game quickly. Before I got another chance, though, the lanes and scoreboards were shut down automatically, and all hope was lost. And so, to Akiko, I sincerely apologize.

Also, I discovered the next day that Gayle had donated to my cause, and was eligible for a strike dedication! Not only that, she pushed my donation total to $480.01, exactly ONE CENT over my goal! I'm so sorry I didn't know ahead of time, Gayle. Make no mistake, though, you will be getting a dedication at some point in the future, most likely when you least expect it.

And that was that! Thanks to all of you for helping, I hope I was able to document enough for at least a laugh. And if you're now in the mood for bowling, give me a call, I'm ready to go!

Gomez Hits for Cycle! I Blog for Cycle in Honor of Achievement.

GOMEZ HOORAY! Carlos hits a leadoff HR, then triple, then double (advancing to third on error), then infield single to become the first Twin since the much-venerated and cherished Kirby Puckett to hit for the cycle, and the first time I've seen someone hit it in reverse order.

Fun fact: Gomez was not quite one year old when Kirby did that.

So, in honor of the young lad's achievement, I will now blog for the cycle in reverse as well. You might think my task is ludicrously easy compared to actually hitting for the cycle (I will write a 4-sentence paragraph, followed by a 3-sentence paragraph, etc.), but I will endeavor to make my seemingly-simple task coherent and logical. And let's not forget: writing coherently and logically while blogging is a monumental task in itself. Seriously, have you ever read a blog?

Anyway, Gomez's success tonight also gives me a little optimism long-term, although his whole running-out-of-the-gate method of bunting still irks me. Also encouraging is Livan's continued success, despite my initial belief that he was Ponson 2.0. Here's hoping he can keep hitters off-balance for many innings to come!

And here's to Little Nicky Punto as well: 5 RBI?! LNP, whichever God of Luck you've started praying to, keep it up you crazy bastard!

And speaking of luck, guess which hat I was wearing tonight?

"Home Sweep Home": Twins Sweep Triggers My Search for Bad Pun

May 4, 2008: Twins beat Tigers 7-6.

After getting home from lunch, I turned on the Twins game in the top of the 4th inning. With the score 6-0 Tigers, I thought it might be a good opportunity to experiment. I grabbed Hunt for Red October and slapped it on my head.

Top of the 5th: 6-1. Top of the 6th: 6-3. Top of the 8th: 6-7. If I were a reasonable, intelligent, observant individual, I would rightly award the lion's share of the credit for the Twins victory to Boof Bonser, who kept his cool and recovered from a horrendous 1st inning to throw 5 more scoreless frames. Or perhaps to the Twins' 9 through 4 hitters, who accounted for all 7 Twins runs. Or perhaps to the Twins bullpen, who tossed 3 more scoreless innings.

But I'm not a reasonable individual. I'm a superstitious hack. Therefore, IT WAS THE HAT. THE HAT IS ACTUALLY LUCKY. THE HAT GOT US THE WIN.

Think about that 4-run 7th inning. Tolbert hits a nice double to get it started. Then Punto hits a grounder to third, and reaches on an ERROR (first lucky event). Gomez hits a chopper OFF THE PLATE, which bounces high and allows him to reach first, while Tolbert scores (second lucky event). Harris's ground-rule double could possibly be called an unlucky event, but not in the Dome. That just happens on the turf, all the time. Then Mauer hits a grounder that just barely squeezes past two outstretched gloves to score the tying and go-ahead runs (third lucky event). That's a pretty sweet inning, if you ask me.

Anyway, we're in first by 1.5 games in the AL Central, which is awesome, completely unexpected, and will probably be short-lived.

UNLESS I NEVER TAKE THE HAT OFF AGAIN.

Photo by TI Journal.

Finally: First Real Evidence that Maybe Less Boof Actually is More

"Not this time," muttered Boof. "This time I'll pitch shut-out innings until I can pitch no more. This time I'll snag a nubber down the first-base line and run it to the bag ALL BY MYSELF. This time I'll jump (that's right, JUMP!), grab a bounder, and turn a single into an out."

"Not this time," proclaimed Delmon. "This time I'll get hits. This time I will DRAW A WALK. This time I will set and hit the cut-off man, like a mature adult. Perhaps I'll wash some dishes tonight and prepare a sensible dinner before retiring to bed with a Dickens novel...or perhaps not."

"Not this time," mumbled Morneau. "This time I won't be able to help out the team. This time I'll hit the ball in the air, but it will somehow remain INSIDE THE PARK. Weird."

"Not this time," cheered Gomez. "This time I WON'T GET A STRIKEOUT! Pretty sweet, huh? Of, course I won't get a hit either. Maybe next time?"

Not this time, Bitch Sox. NOT THIS TIME.

April 29, 2008: Twins beat Permanently Tarnished Franchise 3-1. Hunt for Red October is now 5-1.

Rangers Make 3 Errors, Not Including Signing Ponson

April 26, 2008: Twins beat the Rangers 12-6.

Welcome back, Michael Cuddyer! Way to give us those much-needed 4th, 5th, and 6th insurance runs with your "I'm back!" jack.

Also, a warm welcome to new (Walker) Texas Ranger, Sidney Ponson. The announcers did their best to convince themselves that Ponson showed promise, reminding us that Ponson only allowed one earned run. That's the exact rationalizing I LOVE to hear other teams make; after all, some teams have to suck, right? Better them than us.

Also also, those Texas ballgirls are cute! This led to a VERY unfortunate exchange with G, culminating in the ill-advised statement, "She can shag my foul balls anytime!" I promise you, we are usually very tasteful and mature grown men, please don't judge us on this story.

...OK, we're actually not very tasteful or mature at all, now that I think about it.

Last, I wore Red October again tonight, and it is racking up some serious stats. 4-1, 30 runs scored, 23 runs allowed. That's just purty right there. Let's keep rolling, boys.

Hints of Luck in Twins' Sneaky Win...

I was wearing Hunt for Red October this afternoon, and for the first time, I may have noticed some honest-to-goodness lucky events. There was a down-the-pipe curveball that was somehow called a ball for the Twins, a liner down the third base line that managed to just barely curve foul for the Indians, Gomez's diving catch that landed in his glove after his face hit the ground (also lucky in that play is that Gomez didn't break a rib), and of course Morneau's seeing-eye single that scooted into the outfield for the winning run in the bottom of the 10th, after two other two-out singles.

That puts Red at 3-1, and I'm thinking of sticking with him going forward until events dictate otherwise.

Twins Lose, Bullpen Collapses; Somehow Still Better than Last Night

Tuesday, April 15, 2008: Twins lose to the Tigers 5-6.

Hang another loss on the bullpen; Jesse Crain allowed 3 runs in the bottom of the eighth, giving us the classic "You were winning, now you're losing AND you only have one more chance to re-take the lead" gut punch.

We did better than yesterday's "Night of a Thousand Gut Punches", though. There was room for a lot of improvement after yesterday, and we chose to improve by the absolute smallest of increments. Instead of SEVEN unanswered runs, how about just FIVE? Instead of TWO shaky relievers, how about just ONE? Of course, the one tonight, Crain, could technically be added to the shakies from last night, Neshek and Guerrier, for a grand total of THREE shaky relievers. That's a lot of shaking.

In other news, Kubel derailed the "Free Himself" bandwagon by going 0-4 with 3 strikeouts against a left-hander.

Also, apparently tonight's game was sponsored by the letter "M," with Mauer, Morneau, and Monroe (Monroe?!) knocking in our runs.

Other potent notables:

Did anyone else watching the Tigers feed get a little creeped out by Rod Allen's admiration of Carlos Gomez's physique? Paraphrasing: "He's well put-together ... I mean, look at those forearms ... he's 6'4", but as you can see, he is VERY well-proportioned ... seriously, I left my room key in his jeans, I hope he finds it ... "

Also funny: when Gomez came up in his last at-bat, the graphic that came up said "Clete Thomas." It made me realize that you can make anyone look worse than they actually are by just putting the name "Clete Thomas" next to them. Kobe at the free throw line: "Here's Clete Thomas, 38 points tonight." Tiger Woods sinking a birdie putt: "Clete Thomas into the lead now, that's just classic Clete." Beckham taking a corner kick: "Clete Thomas lines it up. Clete's fleet cleated feet have achieved some sweet feats in this heat today, haven't they, Amanda Peete?"

Well, you see what I mean, right?

Last, I'm going to put my rally cap stats into the sidebar, that seems a more appropriate place to put them. They are updated through tonight's game.

The Epic Search for the True Rally Cap: Game 7

Friday, April 11, 2008: Twins beat the Royals 5-0.

I'm pretty sure that 2-out RBI's and 7 shut-out innings from your starter will cure any disease, malaise, or other affliction you may suffer from. This game was easily the most comfortable for me to watch so far this season. Doffs of the cap to Livan "Pele" Hernandez, Morneau for the blast, Gomez yet again, and Tolbert. I wore Urb for this game, and I'm tempted to wear him again; I had a great time (uh oh - why does this suddenly sound like Love Connection?)

Standings:

The Hunt for Red October: 2 - 1, 16 runs scored, 16 runs allowed







Urban Warfare: 1 - 1, 5 runs scored, 1 run allowed







Ye Olde Doffer: 1 - 1, 5 runs scored, 6 runs allowed

The Epic Search for the True Rally Cap: Game 6

Twins beat the White Sox 12-5.

Wheeeee! With the score at 7 in the 3rd inning, I remember thinking, "Wow! This is the most we've scored all year!" And that was BEFORE Kubel's "Grand Slam of Revenge". They do say revenge is a dish best served with the bases loaded, right?

Plenty else to like tonight. Brendan Harris goes 3-4 with a BB and 3 runs scored, Brian Bass pitches 4 innings of relief, allowing one earned run. I will say this, though: Adam Everett ranks last among the Twins starting position players in BA, OBP, SLG, and fielding percentage! This seems like the perfect set-up for that horrible question people always ask in job interviews: "Why should we hire you?"

Well, Adam? Why should we? All you have to do is be better than NICK FREAKING PUNTO. Is that going to be a problem for you?

To business: I wore Red October today, which symbolizes anger. And blood. And also (apparently) sexy, sexy grand slams.

Standings:

The Hunt for Red October: 2 - 1, 16 runs scored, 16 runs allowed







Urban Warfare: 0 - 1, 0 runs scored, 1 run allowed







Ye Olde Doffer: 1 - 1, 5 runs scored, 6 runs allowed








By the way, let the record show I was not able to watch the Twins-White Sox game on Monday, and was not wearing any of the above caps during the game. Rest assured, if a cap had rested on my head when the White Sox hit that grand slam to take the lead and eventually the game, I would have burned it. Red, Herb, and Doff should count themselves lucky.

The Epic Search for the True Rally Cap: Game 5

Ugh. If these guys GI into ONE MORE F*CKING DP, I'm going to go AWOL.

I will doff to BooFlex for another solid start (somewhere in the wild, Brad Radke is laughing his ass off at Boof's expense), and Morneau for the upperdeck eye candy, but that's it. Well, OK, a doff to Tolbert too, can't fault you and your 2-for-4 performance, can we?

Standings:

The Hunt for Red October: 1 - 1, 4 runs scored, 11 runs allowed







Urban Warfare: 0 - 1, 0 runs scored, 1 run allowed







Ye Olde Doffer: 1 - 1, 5 runs scored, 6 runs allowed








I think I'm going to switch to whichever cap I want to wear, on whichever day I want to wear it, and forgo this "wear it till it loses" strategy," which is apparently discouraging winning streaks.

I'm currently taking a copy editing course, and I can't help but notice that the previous sentence is f*cking atrocious. Apologies all around.

The Epic Search for the True Rally Cap: Game 4

First, a quick operational note: my game numbering system will count only games which I view live while be-hatted. Hence, this is game number 4 in my search for the True Rally Cap, despite the game officially counting as the Twins' fifth game this season.

Congrats to Ye Olde Doffer! "Doff" got us the win, and doff "Doff" I did. I doffed to Gomez. I doffed to Mauer. I doffed to Morneau, Lamb, Everett, and Cuddyer. I doffed till I dropped, then I doffed "Doff" once more. Well done, Nathan.

Standings:

The Hunt for Red October: 1 - 1, 4 runs scored, 11 runs allowed







Urban Warfare: 0 - 1, 0 runs scored, 1 run allowed







Ye Olde Doffer: 1 - 0, 4 runs scored, 3 runs allowed






We'll see how Doff fares this weekend!

The Epic Search for the True Rally Cap: Game 3

Nick Blackburn made me eat my words! Congratulations on an impeccable start, young man!

To the rest of the Twins: you played like POOP. The offense wasn't supposed to be the problem this year, remember? PLEASE STOP PLAYING LIKE POOP. Thanks!

Standings:

The Hunt for Red October: 1 - 1, 4 runs scored, 11 runs allowed







Urban Warfare: 0 - 1, 0 runs scored, 1 run allowed







Ye Olde Doffer: 0 - 0, 0 runs scored, 0 runs allowed







Time for Ye Olde Doffer to get us a series split.

The Epic Search for the True Rally Cap: Game 2

Well, tonight was far less enjoyable, wasn't it? Boof is definitely lighter, but it'd  be nice if he was a bit shorter instead, after leaving so many pitches up in the zone tonight. Brian Bass hopefully got his nerve-wracking and ineffective debut out of the way. And it would be simply FANTASTIC if Justin Morneau could maybe get a hit someday. Lastly, we continue to be horrible with RISP, a little habit that is SO DELIGHTFUL TO WATCH OVER AND OVER.

There were some bright spots, of course. Delmon Young went 3-4 with a run scored, showing some nice hustle in stretching one of his singles into a double. Jason Kubel went 1-4, but more importantly, hit the ball quite well. Here's hoping he is Gardy's first choice at DH on a regular basis.

Anyway, to business. As promised, I stuck with The Hunt for Red October tonight, and I believe we can accurately and fairly call its effect decidedly "unlucky". I plan to put Urban Warfare into the lineup next, we'll see if it can take advantage of its time in the spotlight.

Standings:

The Hunt for Red October: 1 - 1, 4 runs scored, 11 runs allowed







Urban Warfare: 0 - 0, 0 runs scored, 0 runs allowed







Ye Olde Doffer: 0 - 0, 0 runs scored, 0 runs allowed







All right, let's see what you got, Urb!

The Epic Search for the True Rally Cap: Game 1

As my free time has been severely squeezed for the next 8 weeks, I'm gonna have to keep my Twins blogging simple....

Which is a DAMN SHAME, because tonight was one of the most fun, most enjoyable games I've ever had the pleasure of MLB.TV'ing in quite some time. Apparently, this is Carlos Gomez's world; we're only living in it. Apparently, Livan Hernandez has a "super-secret" level which he only accesses when he wishes.

And yes, apparently there is a world in which Nick Punt"0-fer" is used as an adequate bench player. It's a lovely world, filled with fragrant lilacs, sweet honeysuckle, sprightly buttercups, all carpeted in lush Spanish moss.

It's pretty nice, in other words.

Anyway, my latest project is to simply determine which of my Twins caps is the "Lucky One". I have the new, Communist Red, fitted cap; the battered, white with gray and navy pinstripe alternate with elastic band lining; and the true blue, home cap with velcro adjuster. I've named them all: in order, they are The Hunt for Red October (shortened to "Red"), Urban Warfare ("Urb"), and Ye Olde Doffer ("Doff").

Simple enough, right? So here's where we stand:

The Hunt for Red October: 1 - 0, 3 runs scored, 2 runs allowed







Urban Warfare: 0 - 0, o runs scored, 0 runs allowed
(apparently photos of this hat are nowhere to be found on the internet)






Ye Olde Doffer: 0 - 0, 0 runs scored, 0 runs allowed







I'll be sticking with Red until events dictate a change. Standard superstition practice.

Written Bad, Read Good (Episode 1)

This may cause many of you to scratch your heads, but trust me: it's funny if you've been doing editing homework into the wee hours of the night. I haven't decided if this will be a regular occurrence, but I have titled the podcast "Written Bad, Read Good," just in case I stick with it. The premise is that I simply read the exercises from my copy editing homework. I've included the exercises below so that you can easily follow along.

Listen to "Written Bad, Read Good" - Episode 1

1. Mr. Hildreth abandoned his career as a jeweler to become a realtor.
2. Among Ray’s prized possessions is a replica of the HMS Beagle, which rests atop his mantel.
3. Sarah felt bad that she was in Paris when Dora debuted in the new play.
4. The elephant relies on it’s trunk for much more than eating.
5. I know that, when you come to visit, we’ll have alot of fun.
6. People that live in glass houses must spend quite a bit on draperies.
7. The mayor’s new directive will require less staff members.
8. Ms. Connelly’s travels have given her a very unique perspective on cultural mores around the world.
9. Rev. Whallon is a cousin of the Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court.
10. The students were addressed by the principal concerning drug policy.
11. Our industry is witnessing a paradigm shift and we expect its impact to be substantial.
12. Composer Cyril Scott has been called the English Delius.
13. I remember a woman in my first-grade class who used to share her lunch with me.
14. Anybody in the group who presents his or her membership card when he or she shows up at the meeting can get a discount on his or her renewal.
15. Montana politician Jeannette Nolan was the only member of Congress to vote against entry into both World Wars.

Enjoy!